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I met my girlfriend when her daughter was 6 years old. I instantly believed that she was the one for me, so I made changes in my life to ensure I could be a husband one day and a good father.
I truly love my girlfriend’s daughter as my own, and I even thought about adopting her. I grew up without my father, so I know how empty the void of an absent father could be. I vowed to myself that I would never turn my back on my family even though they weren’t blood. I also have my dream woman. She has the physical attributes that I like and is God-fearing, honest, loving and peaceful. She is one-of-a-kind, and I don’t see myself being with anyone else.
Soon after we started dating, I made my plea about wanting children of my own and to be married. We bought a house together, and I got a better-paying job. I pay all of the major bills, leaving her with money to do what she pleased.
I’ve been there for every birthday, dance recital and award ceremony, and I enjoy every moment. My girlfriend is a great mother, and I can’t wait to mold a son with her who can carry on my legacy or another princess that I can spoil. I thought I was doing everything right to set us up to grow our family and get married.
Four years into the relationship, I proposed, with the ring her best friend helped pick out, in front of her family and our close friends, but my girlfriend shot me down. She feigned preoccupation with the master’s program she was enrolled in, which I understand, but I wasn’t entirely happy about because I was ready to make her my wife and expand our family.
I let time march on for another four years while she got settled in her new role after graduation before proposing marriage again and asking about having children together. However, she said she didn’t want to start having children or get married until her daughter was off to college for fear that her daughter might feel like she was playing second fiddle to a new baby and me. I walked away from the conversation disappointed but agreed to wait.
I decided to have my own conversation with her daughter to get to the bottom of the real issue she was having. After speaking with her, I was shocked to find out that she didn’t care for me at all. She even told me that sometimes she hated me for taking her mother away from her.
Devastation followed, but as the years went by, I learned to move past the jealousy issue. I made a point to urge my girlfriend to address the matter with her daughter, to correct her negative behaviors and the way she was dealing with me, but she never did.
Now the child is 16, and I just bought her a car to celebrate the milestone. When I gave her the keys, I could tell by the look on her face that she wasn’t pleased. She told me she didn’t like the car. She wanted a Tesla like mine, but I explained that it wouldn’t be appropriate for her first car, especially since she is still learning how to be comfortable alone behind the wheel. She stormed off and locked herself in her room.
I talked to her mother about this, but again she failed to step in. I’m fed up with my girlfriend for not doing enough to prioritize our future and for allowing her daughter’s bad attitude that is causing a strain on our relationship.
I don’t want to turn my back on my family or walk away from this 10-year relationship, but I don’t know how long I can keep dealing with the disrespect while I keep waiting. I am starting to feel my girlfriend is disregarding my feelings and how this could impact our future together.
Should I cut my losses and move on, or continue trying to convince my girlfriend to have children and get married despite her daughter’s disapproval?
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