Social media users have a lot to say in response to a clip circulating online of a woman who asserted that the bulk of financial support and responsibility belongs to her partner in a relationship.
“I feel like a man should always make a way,” said model Crisana Mariyah on the “8 at the Table” podcast.
The hosts lead discussions that allow guests to self-reflect on love, sex and relationships.
Podcasters invited Mariyah on one of their most recent episodes to discuss the subject of cheating and roles in relationships.
In the clip circulating on social media, Mariyah is heard saying, “I’m not gonna work my hands to the bones to provide. I’m not gonna work 16 to 20 hours a day or a week to provide for my family. You’re the man. You have the penis. Go get a job, get three jobs. My man has two jobs. Go get seven jobs and two side hustles to buy me the things that I want because I’m a woman.”
In the full episode posted on the “8 at the Table” YouTube channel, Mariyah said that mindset stemmed from how her father raised her.
“Growing up, I feel like a man is supposed to treat their daughter like a princess. I don’t go for anything less. My dad literally, if he had to work two, three jobs, he was doing that to provide. Even if we didn’t have it, my dad always made a way.”
Some social media users commented as to what they would want out of the relationship if they were to treat her to that kind of lifestyle.
“With an attitude like that, dinner better be done when I get home, and the house better be spotless too!” one Twitter user commented.
Another person wrote, “That’s all fine and all if she is doing the dishes, making food, keeping the house clean, and always by my side when I need her. But a lot of y’all women lack that but want this? It’s still effort, just in different places.”
Some people took no issue with Mariyah’s comments, noting that if both partners are on the same page about their roles, then there’s no problem.
“As long as the man is okay with it, I don’t see the issue. Can’t be mad at anyone for their standards. Just keep it moving if you not the one,” one person commented on Instagram.
“The older I get, the more I’m fine with me paying everything and just having my partner cook and clean,” another social media user wrote on Twitter.
Mariyah remarked earlier in that episode that she would treat her man to trips and gifts as well, but she would like that energy to be reciprocated.
“I know what I can provide. Just like I want vacations and nice things, I know that I can spend a bag. I do what I gotta do. I spend money on my men. I don’t go for men that ask me what I bring to the table when I’m clearly the table.”
The debate over the topic of gender roles in relationships is not a new one. Partners in many relationships often lead their own independent careers, but some studies are still finding that, even in today’s society, traditional partnerships where men are the main breadwinners are still valued among many households.
According to a survey conducted by The Pew Research Center in 2017, women at that time generated half or more of the earnings among about a third of married or cohabitating couples in the United States.
However, researchers noted that “men contribute more of the income, and this aligns with the fact that Americans place a higher value on a man’s role as financial provider.”
That study also found that seven-in-10 adults (71 percent) say it is very important for a man to be able to support a family financially to be a good husband or partner. By comparison, 32 percent say it’s very important for a woman to do the same to be a good wife or partner.
A ScienceDirect study in 2016 that examined the impact of gender ideologies on men’s and women’s desires for a traditional or nontraditional partner found that, overall, women demonstrate a strong preference for a nontraditional partner.
However, women who have a higher benevolence toward men prefer a traditional partner, and men who are “high in benevolent sexism,” as the study notes, prefer a traditional female partner.
Pew researchers conducted another study in 2021, examining gender roles in gaps during the COVID-19 pandemic.
That survey found that approximately 47 percent of women say they manage their household finances more than their spouse or partner, while 25 percent say their husband or partner does more. There was a drastic difference among male respondents: 50 percent say they handle household finances more than their wife or partner in this area, while 23 percent say their spouse or partner does more than them.
