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After inheriting a sizable amount of money from the death of my father, I decided to do something adventurous and treat three of my besties to a seven-day paid trip to Jamaica. I informed my girls that their only expenses would be food, drinks and ground transportation to move about the country.
It was an offer they could not refuse.
However, one of my friends, Denise, had a history of being fiscally irresponsible. This was the same woman who sent me a $20 CashApp request with zero explanation, at an odd hour of the day, with no follow-up call or text. To head things off at the pass, I had a private conversation with Denise to reiterate the importance of her being prepared for this trip — one for which she had three months to prepare. I was aware her mother has been a huge source for her financially, so I’d hoped she’d turn to her for some financial support. I was already covering the major expenses.
Upon arrival at the airport in Jamaica, we hailed a taxi to our hotel and decided it would be easiest for one person to pay the driver and for the other three parties to reimburse the one who paid. We all agreed on this method while on the island, but when it came time to pay up, Denise was having trouble with her account and debit card to withdraw funds. I would cover her quickly to keep the good vibes flowing and thought nothing of it.
This should have been a glaring sign of things to come.
By day we shopped, rented private cabanas by the pool and enjoyed tourist activities. By night, we partied hard paying for VIP to get into clubs with bottle service and more. As we went into day three of the vacation, it became painfully obvious that Denise’s trip was being funded by the rest of us and mostly by me.
We were splitting things three ways instead of four, and my friend’s meager excuses were beginning to wear out on my other two friends who were all but ready to fight.
Oddly enough, my crew and I noticed that when we shopped or did things that benefited Denise personally, she was miraculously able to come up with the money, but when it was time to split costs, we were only hearing excuses. It was one thing after another. She claimed her card was blocked because she didn’t put a travel alert on it. Another excuse was that she couldn’t log into her account. Then the money she transferred from her savings was somehow still on “its way.”
After yet another argument after dinner, Denise left the hotel room for one hour to make a supposed call to her bank to “figure things out.”
So, I did a thing. While Denise was out, I went in her purse and found a bank account receipt from an ATM. It spelled things out very clearly; her account was in the negative. Why didn’t she say anything or ask for help? But the idea of having to continue to cover her portion for the remainder of our four days was something I could not do.
In the heat of the moment, I picked up the phone and called Denise’s mother. I told her she needed to send money for her daughter to head back home. To my shock, her mother claimed to have already provided Denise with money.
Denise walked back into the room while I was talking to her mom and denied spending the money her mother had given on frivolous expenditures. I hung up the phone, and a heated argument ensued between all four of us. Instead of apologizing for not informing us beforehand that she needed help, she was more focused on my supposed betrayal for calling her mother.
What was I supposed to do?
The three of us put our collective foot down and informed Denise that she would have to hang back when it came time to go out the last few nights or she’d have to go home. She claimed she felt like she was being treated like a child. Our friendship has been on thin ice ever since, and I’m in no hurry to fix it.
I’m sure I’m the villain in Denise’s story, but I really did try to communicate openly from the beginning to avoid pitfalls wherever possible. Am I wrong for reaching out to her mother and exposing her?
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NOTE: This story has been edited for clarity and grammar.
This young lady planned this trip well and clearly stated the requirements. Her friend had the option of NOT going and causing a such drag on the trip. Her friend is very wrong for her behavior and neglecting to be honest and upfront. I’m sure the initiator of the trip would have assisted more if she was upfront and let her know she needed help.
If she couldn’t afford the trip she could have declined the offer.
You were not wrong for calling her mother and frankly she is lucky you at least did that cause if it were me she would have been trying to figure out how to get home on her own. She is not a friend, she is an opportunist. Even after her mother gave her money for the trip she spent it instead of using it for what she was given it for. Her mother is an enabler and she would be getting her home. You owe her no apology or explanation. She should be apologizing to you and your other 2 friends for all of this. Moral of the story follow your first mind cause you knew she was going to pull this but you hoped she would be grown-up and take responsibility for herself on the trip when she should have been left at home.
You need not to fix your relationship with her. That is her job. She is lucky she didn’t get a beat down from all of yall. She is not a friend. Friends don’t treat friends like that. Let her be.
You guys did to much, I would have her off the first time she didn’t come through with her part. She was probably holding her back on her 💰
My only issue is why did you invite her (Denise)
the first place? By your own admission you were
aware of this girl’s past fiscal irresponsible
behavior…So instead of playin’ the PREMEDITATED
VICTIM, you should chalk this up as learning
experience and purchase Denise a one way ticket
home and send her on her way, so you and your
friends can enjoy the last 4 days of your trip.
If it wasn’t an emergency Mom should not have been called but however the cheap friend should have stayed back at the hotel.
After reading all the comments a beat down was not the answer. Yes she was given money by her mother no she didn’t tell you’ll she spent it. Listen she didn’t say anything she didn’t want to be left behind as a teen she was trying to see her wrong. I would have told mines you are bless to make this trip baby for what ever reason do what you can to help her. That’s my opinion as and older adult.
she should have stayed home if she didn’t have no money makes no sense at all then she wanna get mad i would have been sent her home at the 1st sign of trouble and she has done this before she gon lose a good friend over some foolishness
First of all…you stated you knew she is mostly financially dependent upon her mom. Then you had the nerve to presume on her mom’s pocket thinking that you believed she would turn to her mom. Did you or her ensure mom could supply her some money for this trip that YOU planned.
Another thing young lady…you got an inheritance..first thing you thought of was to splurge..! Did you thought about investing in YOUR future. That money came easy..didn’t it. Lastly…YOU picked up a phone and called her mom. No decorum…! That mom should hang up on you. Whatever you had going on with one of your “besties”…deal with it…and keep her mom out of it. Frankly..she really do not need friends like you…and she should not have gone on this trip knowing she could not afford it. In reality though..you probably deserves each other.
Listen, people make bad judgements, personally I would have made sure everyone had their part before we left, however when God bless you, it’s time to bless someone else. Don’t let money come between your friendship because I guarantee you if money wasn’t involved this subject wouldn’t exist, let Denise know where you stand if she agree continue the friendship, if not move on, and apologize for going in her purse and calling her mom.