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18 Jokes by Comedian Chris Rock That Will Make You Laugh — And Think

celeb-chris-rockWhite Privilege

1. “Yeah, I love being famous. It’s almost like being white, y’know?”

2. “A Black C student can’t do sh*t with his life. A Black C student can’t be a manager at Burger King. Meanwhile, a white C student just happens to be the president of the United States.”

3.  “I will give you an example of how race affects my life. I live in a place called Alpine, New Jersey. Live in Alpine, New Jersey, right? My house costs millions of dollars. … In my neighborhood, there are four Black people. Hundreds of houses, four Black people.

“Who are these Black people? Well, there’s me, Mary J. Blige, Jay Z and Eddie Murphy. Only Black people in the whole neighborhood. So let’s break it down … Mary J. Blige, one of the greatest R&B singers to ever walk the earth. Jay Z, one of the greatest rappers to ever live. Eddie Murphy, one of the funniest actors to ever, ever do it.

“Do you know what the white man who lives next door to me does for a living? He’s a f***ing dentist. He ain’t the best dentist in the world. He ain’t going to the dental hall of fame. He don’t get plaques for getting rid of plaque. He’s just a yank-your-tooth-out dentist.

“See, the Black man gotta fly to get to something the white man can walk to.”

4. “White man makes guns? No problem. Black rapper says ‘gun’? Congressional hearing.”

5. “Alcohol: Tastes great, I love it, you love it, we all love it. Kills motherf***ers every single day.  Cigarettes – the most dangerous product known to man. Kills motherf***ers every single day. Cigarettes so dangerous it kills motherf***ers that don’t smoke. That’s how dangerous cigarettes are.

” People talking out of their necks into a f***ing machine like, ‘Hey, what’s up, man, I love cigarettes, this sh*t is cool.’ But it’s alright ’cause it’s all white.

“Sh*t, could you imagine if the Philip Morris family was a bunch of jheri-curled n***as from Mississippi? Do you know how illegal a pack of cigarettes would be? You would get 60 years just for a pack of Newports.”

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