“The more connections you and your lover make, not just between your bodies but between your minds, your hearts and your souls, the more you will strengthen the fabric of your relationship” ~ Barbara de Angelis
De Angelis nailed it. Countless women (and men too) feel a yearning for these very connections in a relationship. These connections between the minds, hearts and souls of two partners are, in essence, the basis of emotional fulfillment. In order to feel emotionally fulfilled, these connections must be in place.
In the years I have counseled my clients, in particular those that were married women, I witnessed large percentages that were emotionally “malnourished.” They truly longed for emotional fulfillment and a deep connection (or re-connection) with their husband. Some of them once had this connection within their relationship and some of them never had this connection at all. Either way, these women eventually found themselves yearning for something more. And many of them found it — unfortunately outside of their marriage.
What actually constitutes emotional fulfillment for women in general? Basically, it is those connections that make a woman feel loved, cherished, secure, safe, happy and contented with their partner. I’ve found that there are five basic connections in particular are required. Although I outline each one separately, the reality is that all of these connections are intertwined and therefore must all be met to attain emotional fulfillment.
Respect. I don’t think men and women have the same definition of what it means to be respected by their mate. This can cause a great deal of disruption within a marriage. For women, feeling respected can involve many layers. For instance, words spoken in any tone that is less than loving or kind can make her feel disrespected and can cut like a knife. How he treats her overall is essential.
Value. This is a big one. Women need to feel like an asset — an invaluable presence to her mate. A woman needs her mate to recognize her worth — which is priceless.
Appreciation. Women, just like men, need to feel genuinely appreciated for who they are and what they bring to the relationship. They don’t need to be appreciated for absolutely everything, just the things they put their personal “stamp” on. It’s usually those things their mate wouldn’t have in their lives if it weren’t for these women. Without appreciation, women feel neglected, worthless and meaningless.