As the Oscars approach, it’s time to dole out Heartless Awards for all those who write, produce, direct, and star in so-called “romantic” comedies. These “romantic” comedies actually are chock-full of bad sex and relationship habits. There are so many of these bad habits that it’s hard to decide on just a few. But, in the spirit of the Oscars, I’ll list my top 3 nominees for Hollywood’s worst sex and love habits. The “winner” will be revealed at the end of this blog.
1. Insults and cursing as foreplay to falling in love. Yes, I know that this is just an extreme version of a common author’s ploy. Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy disliked one another at first, threw a few well-chosen barbs, and then fell in love after each revealed his/her good character. But in today’s Hollywood movies, like the recent Love and Other Drugs, the protagonists have swung to the extreme end of that pendulum. They are absolutely vile to one another. To love someone after such treatment would be highly dysfunctional; to treat someone like that is abusive. Yes, I know it’s just a movie. But I can’t help but wonder if these scenes just normalize something unconscionable — verbal abuse.
2. Showing passion through extreme sex. In today’s films, you’d think lovers can only display their physical passion by having sex in unusual positions and places. Of course, different strokes for different folks. But many of these places are public places — like alleys. OK, we’ve all been carried away, but isn’t this potentially risky, embarrassing, or even illegal? Another quibble: Why do couples always have sex against the kitchen counter or hardwood floor when there’s a bed in the next room? I wonder how many women could realistically have satisfying sex with their bones stretched against their granite countertops. I’m thinking these sex scenes will not greatly increase most women’s sexual happiness. But, to be fair, these novel experiences might create some bonding among mutually consenting couples (see “Can the ‘Novelty Habit’ Boost a Couple’s Commitment?”), so maybe this habit has a positive side.
3. Omitting the condom conversation. How often have you seen a film that actually shows two people discussing, or even arguing about, the issues of birth control or STDs (sexually transmitted diseases)? Hollywood artists and movie reviewers love things that are “edgy.” I’ll tell you something edgy — a courageous conversation in which one or both parties bring up the issue of condoms BEFORE they have sex because they care about each other and themselves. I can think of one movie in which that happened — Pretty Woman — but unfortunately that film had lots of other problems.
Read more: Meg Selig, PsychologyToday
