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Dealing with Valentine’s Day in a Long-Distance Relationship

With Valentine’s Day approaching and an unavoidable amount dinner specials and flower bouquet deals, some couples will be forced to share the romance hundred of miles away.

But for them, the distance is just part of the daily frustration that comes with being in a long-distance relationship.

“Making a long-distance relationship work depends greatly on who the people are. Each relationship has its own demands,” Dr. Bruce Derman, a relationship expert and clinical psychologist in California said.

Motivational speaker David Coleman, also known as “The Dating Doctor,” admits that these relationships have a low probability of succeeding. From what he’s observed, two out of three don’t make it.

“People end up fighting because they have nothing new to talk about and they don’t really know what they’re saying to each other,” Coleman said, noting that it is sometimes difficult for humans to spend that much time apart and still have the same affection for each other.

Yet many are not letting the distance or the time apart deter them from a romantic evening.

“Communication is definitely key, as cliché as that is,” University of California – Los Angeles junior Monica Shei said. “But in a situation where time zones get to be a huge obstacle, a simple call or text makes all the difference.”

Shei has been with her boyfriend, Yan Man, a senior at Oxford University for three years.

Their secret? Planning their schedules the night before and calling each other every morning.

“Different time zones doesn’t really give us a lot of space to be spontaneous so we typically plan our schedules the night before and tell each other when we’re free to talk in order to avoid confusion or disappointment,” Shei said.

Man’s formula for success is much more straightforward: “Try not to make Monica mad at me.”

Each relationship and situation is different, but according to experts, the key to success is effort.

“You have to put out that extra effort, that extra commitment,” Derman said. “You can’t just have a natural flow, it’s not just ‘I’ll just see you when it’s okay for me.’ All get-togethers are a project that’s going to require a lot of planning. You have to be willing to meet that demand.”

Read more: USAToday

 

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