The days of meeting people at happy hours, in grocery stores and through friend hook-ups seem to be ghosts of human interaction past. The resurgence of social networking sites and online dating services have become the preferred options for people in search of new friends and romantic relationships.
I have had my share of online dating experiences; some were promising and some were downright ignorant. For that reason, I thought I’d share some tips rules from my perspective on what to do and what not to do on the Internet dating scene.
1) Be open and willing to receive. What you put out is what you get back.
2) Create a truthful profile. Don’t lie about anything. Be perfectly clear about who you are and what you are looking for in a potential mate. Remember you are seeking compatibility and sanity. If you call crazy, crazy will respond.
3) Don’t post profile pics of a sexual nature. When sharks smell blood they attack. A pleasant face pic will do. Save the full body and/or nude pics for later when you develop a comfort and a confidence in your new friend.
4) Listen to your inner detector. If something doesn’t feel right it probably isn’t.
5) Crazy doesn’t have a gender. Women & men are lying, scheming, stalking and commiting identity theft like sickening sociopaths do. Remember hundreds or even thousands of people might view your profile, keep it honest, entertaining and straight to the point.
6) Don’t be afraid to ask questions. In fact, ask lots of questions.
7) If you connect with someone in your city and decide to meet, in the beginning, make sure you meet in public places. The movies, the club or their crib are unacceptable meeting places when you are getting to know someone. You want lots of light and activity around you. Safety is everything. Refrain from drinking alcohol if you can. Be aware at all times. Sometimes intoxication creates bad situations.
8) If you connect with someone long distance, remember there is space for great possibility, but also for incredible deception —be careful. The charming, funny, intelligent person that is making your heart go pitter patter on IM and Skype just might be an insecure, narcissistic, disingenuous predator that has plans to make you their next victim. Consistency and time will let you know what you need to know.
9) If you feel uncomfortable at any time, dead the situation. They’ll get over it.
10) The most accomplished individuals are capable of being the biggest assholes. Having multiple degrees, a high paying job and a gym membership is great, but that doesn’t guarantee someone is emotionally and mentally balanced. Don’t become disillusioned by external attributes, the labor worker with the limited academic experience, but incredible integrity might be the powdered sugar on your funnel cake.
11) Take it one day at a time. Don’t be anxious. Have fun getting to know one another. The process is everything.
12) Never confuse fantasy with reality. A few cool conversations, tingly feelings and good thoughts are just that. Love requires consistency, work and sustained effort. Your emotions might be on a hundred thousand trillion, but be careful and don’t say the L word to a relative stranger until you have arrived at a place of certainty.
