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3 Meditations for Healthy, Sexual Love

It’s vital for mindful acts of emotional and spiritual intimacy to steadily develop as a daily practice for healthy sex. To that end, Center for Healthy Sex has created daily meditations to help you reach your sexual and relational potential.

Even momentarily concentrating on healthy solutions rewires psychological patterns to receive and share healthy, sexual love in the present. Here are three meditations with the themes of language, rain checks, and interdependence for you to ponder and practice this week.

Meditation 1: Language

“The Eskimos had 52 names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love.” — Margaret Atwood

The simplest phrase in the world, “I love you,” offers a myriad of distinctive meanings, from “I’m enjoying the sex” to “I intend to marry you.” We conceive of love as a feeling, but once love is expressed through language it becomes an idea as well. Language itself creates a new form of love.

Certainly, both verbal and nonverbal communication are essential for sexual intimacy. However, feeling love and saying you feel love are separate processes. In a relationship, stating your love is one of many big moments, setting the stage for the next stage. What does it mean to say the “L” word, to come to a place where you can both avow feelings of love?

Just as a loving emotion may be mingled with confusion, fear and shame, our thinking process can be similarly convoluted. Language is important as it represents the end result of our internal processes — emotional and mental — and what we’re willing to bring into being. This is one reason it is said that whatever words we choose to use are only the tip of the iceberg.
Still, language reveals us. To demonstrate, if the simple statement, “I love you,” were charted out as a mathematical equation, it might include so many operations evaluating interpersonal and cultural influences that it might take up several classroom blackboards! Even a sample shorthand formula might look like this:

Mentality {(Need for Romance + Security) > (Fear of Rejection)} − Memory {(Declaring love led to intimacy last time) ÷ (That relationship ended terribly)} × Anxiety (Will she/he reciprocate?) √ {(is this bad timing?) + Intuition (I’m getting a good vibe)} × (Courage + Nerve ± Recklessness) = “I love you.”


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