Have you settled for companionship in your would-be romantic relationship? Companionship happens when you exist in the same home but spend very little time together, and neither of you is particularly satisfied. Take the stereotypical man-watching-football-while-his-wife-cleans-the-house scenario. She resents that he gets to relax while she slaves to keep the home clean. She complains about [...]
Avoiding The Blame Game, Where There Are no Winners
February 5, 2013 | Posted by
When it comes to placing blame in a relationship, it’s almost always easier to see the faults in our partner than in ourselves. One of the problems with couples pointing fingers is that usually both parties are right, and both are wrong. Every person is full of flaws and certain ways. These self-protective defenses come [...]
Why Our ‘Ideal’ Partners on Paper Don’t Always Match Our Dating Choices
February 4, 2013 | Posted by
You might call it your dream date, your soulmate, or, if you’re the pragmatic sort, you may call it your list of must-haves. Regardless of the framing, if you’re single-and-looking then you probably have an idea of the sort of romantic partner you’re after. And although some of the qualities you’re looking for are probably [...]
Valentine’s Day: Whether You Like It or Not, Have a Plan
February 3, 2013 | Posted by
You think Valentine’s Day is a commercial opportunity designed by vendors? Think again, if your spouse doesn’t agree. If you miss the world-is-observing-love-for-a-whole-day without marking the love in your relationship, regardless or your sentiments, you will be saying, “I don’t care enough about us to put in a modicum of effort for one measly date. [...]
10 Ways Disagreeing Couples Can Work Things Out
February 2, 2013 | Posted by
The Beatles were still in their 20s when they wrote “We Can Work It Out,” but somehow they understood that even though resolving issues can be hard, it is better than trashing a relationship, job or friendship. Here are ten tips to help you work things out. 1. When you’re having a difficult discussion, put your [...]
Is Your Mate The Right One For You?
February 1, 2013 | Posted by
Elliott Katz was stunned to find himself in the middle of a divorce after two kids and 10 years of marriage. The Torontonian, a policy analyst for the Ottawa government, blamed his wife. “She just didn’t appreciate all I was doing to make her happy.” He fed the babies, and he changed their diapers. He gave them their baths, he [...]
The Two Realities of One Relationship
January 31, 2013 | Posted by
No matter who you marry, there’s one thing you can count on. Unless you’re able to create an opposite-sex clone of yourself to walk down the aisle, the person you wed will bring with them a reality that at times will feel alien— even unacceptable — to you. Inevitably, your reaction will include disappointment, frustration, [...]
Five Speed Bumps Along Love’s Slippery Slope
January 29, 2013 | Posted by
It’s a rush more exhilarating than skiing. It’s a slippery slope down which you’re liable to break hearts including your own. Falling in love is fun; falling in love is dangerous. When we fall in love we tend to move toward each other at an accelerating rate, gaining momentum in a surge to merge. We [...]
Five Daily Rituals to Enhance Your Relationship
January 28, 2013 | Posted by
The everyday — filled with its supposedly inconsequential interactions and circumstances — is actually quite consequential when it comes to romantic relationships. That’s because relationships are cumulative, said Nikki Massey-Hastings, Psy.D., a psychotherapist who specializes in couples. “Each seemingly insignificant daily interaction with one’s partner builds upon the interactions from yesterday, last week, and last [...]
Dealing with Valentine’s Day in a Long-Distance Relationship
January 27, 2013 | Posted by
With Valentine’s Day approaching and an unavoidable amount dinner specials and flower bouquet deals, some couples will be forced to share the romance hundred of miles away. But for them, the distance is just part of the daily frustration that comes with being in a long-distance relationship. “Making a long-distance relationship work depends greatly on [...]
