You never know what goes on behind closed doors, but wouldn’t you like to find out?
Well, now you can take a peek inside other people’s hearts, minds, and bedrooms, thanks to The Normal Bar, a new book by Chrisanna Northrup, a San Diego–based wellness entrepreneur who wanted to improve her marriage.
It takes two: More surprising findings from The Normal Bar
NORMAL
When I’m angry, I make him sleep on the couch.
* More than half of couples have slept separately after a fight.
I read his e-mail.
* 54 percent of women (and 49 percent of men) snoop on their partner’s in-box.
NOT NORMAL
I keep in touch with my ex.
* Only 26 percent of women in the U.S. are friends with a past love.
With the help of Pepper Schwartz, a popular sexologist at the University of Washington, and James Witte, director of the Center for Social Science Research at George Mason University, Northrup surveyed more than 70,000 couples worldwide (making it the largest relationship study ever done), asking questions such as, “How often do you kiss your partner?” and “Do you keep secrets from each other?”
The answers provide a voyeuristic look into how the average duo behaves—and if you have any of the love issues here, you’ll see you’re not alone and that there are ways to make your own relationship one to envy.
The Issue: “I wish my guy looked better.”
The Norm: More than a third of both women and men wish their partner would care more about looking good.
The Takeaway: Lead by example. Impress him in small ways — get dolled up for a night in or opt for sexier PJs — and hope he’ll do the same.
“People who put that effort into themselves, even around the house, keep the relationship alive a little bit more because it makes them both feel better,” says Northrup. If he’s not getting the hint, tell him how hot he looks in that button-down (the one you bought for him).
“Guys love compliments,” says Northrup, “and he wants you to be attracted to him.”
The Issue: “I’m worried he might stray.”
The Norm: Only 39 percent of women completely trust their partners. This may be for good reason: Sixty-nine percent of men said that if propositioned, they’d be tempted to have sex with someone outside of their relationship.
The Takeaway: Don’t give in to your suspicious mind yet. “Being propositioned is one thing, but people aren’t going to cheat for just any old reason,” says Gary W. Lewandowski Jr., department chair of psychology at Monmouth University. To find out how he really feels, nonchalantly bring up the latest headline-making bout of infidelity (thanks, Hollywood). “Ask, ‘Why do you think they cheated?'” says Lewandowski. “Then segue into what, if anything, would make him think about straying.
Read more: Faye Brennan, FoxNews
