Blue Ivy is only eight months old, but now it looks like we’re going to have to endure another few years of “Beyonce is pregnant!” stories across the Internet.
This time, the fuel was started by MediaTakeOut.com and Hollywood Life, who both reported seeing a “baby bump” on Beyonce at an event she attended over the weekend with Jay-Z—an event we wrote about on Atlanta Black Star. This poor girl. She eats a couple too many potato chips and the world goes crazy with reports of impending birth. Or she can’t find her Spanx as her husband rushes her the door. Must be pregnant.
Hollywood Life even quoted a source close to the couple to confirm they are expecting another child. But Tina Knowles, an unimpeachable source known to Beyonce as Mom, debunked the rumors. (Though the nitpicky fans will point out that Tina also denied the pregnancy rumors when her daughter was indeed pregnant with Blue Ivy.)
The Celebritology blog in the Washington Post helpfully offered three reasons why Beyonce isn’t pregnant. The piece is entitled “Calm Down, Internet: The Beyonce Pregnancy Rumor.”
We reprint them here, as a public service to fans and the curious who feel the need to bring some actual common sense to the discussion:
1. The alleged baby bump doesn’t look like much of a bump.
I’m sorry, that bump is barely visible. It’s more like a ripple. If that fabric slope proves she’s expecting, then Jay-Z and Swizz Beatz, who also attended the soiree, may be about six weeks along as well.
2. The PR firm that sent out the photos also says it is not a bump.
The PR firm that issued the photos of Beyonce supposedly looking like she’s about to complete her first trimester said the bump — which, again, wasn’t much of a bump to begin with — just looked a little unintentionally bumpy in one image, as both Jezebel and E! have noted.
3. This one is important: Beyonce was drinking alcohol at the party in question, or at least pretending to.
Daily Mail photos indicate that Beyonce was sipping alcoholic beverages, or at least holding them up to her lips, at the New York party to which she wore that form-fitting leopard-print dress that sent off unnecessary pregnancy alarm bells. Which makes sense, since the party was sponsored by Bacardi’s D’usse cognac, an adult beverage endorsed by Jay-Z and one that is getting excellent publicity by having all these photos being passed around online.
So, in summary, if Kate Middleton’s decision not to drink wine proves that she is pregnant (which it doesn’t, really, but just work with me), then Beyonce’s decision to sip brandy means she is not pregnant. That’s a basic tenet of celebrity-pregnancy-rumor analysis right there. Case. Closed.
We agree with Celebritology. Calm down, Internet.