We’ve all done it. The temptation is there, the circumstances are right, and you’re sincerely weighing the pros and cons of getting back together with an ex. And while this may seem like the greatest idea since turning Reese’s Cups into a cereal, you should probably avoid it. Here, the six most pressing reasons why.
1. You broke up for a reason.
It’s so easy, even just a few weeks out of a serious split, to look back on your relationship and see nothing but gumdrop romance and chocolate-covered compatibility. But this nostalgia is likely false — or, if you actually did have a lot of stuff worth smiling about, your fickle mind is conveniently ignoring all of the stuff that made you two end this thing in the first place. Who wants to wistfully reflect on memories of cheating or constant arguments when they’re walking pensively through a park? No one. You’re likely to want to erase that stuff from your mind, à la Eternal Sunshine, and only think about the time they kissed you on the nose when it was snowing. But let’s not be so hasty as to forget how much of your time together was spent arguing about tedious, unimportant things, or insulting each other, or sleeping with someone else. If you broke up, don’t do the you of a short time ago a disservice and completely forget why it happened. You should be aware of all the facets of your now-over relationship, not just the awesome ones.
2. You are just going to break up again.
I know that we all like to believe that we are the miraculous exception to the rules about love and dating, but the truth is, you’re probably just going to break up again. We all know that tragic couple who is constantly having some Maury-esque fight, vowing never to speak to each other again, sleeping together a week later, and putting that relationship right back up on Facebook the next day. You know that feeling when you see pictures of them back together for the fourth time this year and you’re just like, “Ugh. Please tell me they’re using protection, no child needs to be a part of this.”? Yeah, no one wants to be that guy. It’s painful to see people who cannot accept that they are simply not meant to be, no matter how thrilling their Rihanna/Eminem “Love the Way You Lie” romance is. And speaking personally, having been in one of those “let’s break up to make up six times this summer” relationships, I can safely say that looking back on that crap is nothing short of humiliating. Save yourself while you can.
3. It’s only appealing because it’s familiar.
I’m not saying there were no other qualities in your ex that you loved, or simply “can’t find in another human being, ever ever ever,” but let’s not pretend like a huge part of the appeal is familiarity…
Read more: Chelsea Fagan, Thought Catalog