Ever thought make-up sex is worth the argument? Beyond the physical pleasure, there may be a reason why couples jump in bed after a discussion gone awry. According to clinical psychologist Seth Myers, make-up sex is akin to a drug fiend in need of a high searching for cocaine.
“In a healthy relationship, two people can come together after a disagreement and share physical intimacy because they feel close. However, the search for greater intimacy and trust isn’t what motivates most make-up sex. The truth is that most make-up sex results from having felt and expressed extreme negative emotions during a heated argument, without any true resolution afterward. Because these individuals get sick of feeling the negative extreme end of the spectrum, they hunger to switch gears and jump to the opposite end of the spectrum — to feel the high that comes with making up. Honestly, it’s not that different from an addict who needs a hit of cocaine,” Myers claims in ‘Make-Up Sex Hurts: Why and How to Avoid it’ blog post for Psychology Today.
Myers further suggests make-up sex becomes a crutch for relationships that lack true intimacy which places sex as the relationship solver of all issues.
“It reinforces fighting and emotional drama. Think about it: If you have amazing sex after you have a huge fight, doesn’t it make sense to fight again when the reward is so great?”
However, Myers is not pulling everyone onboard with his findings.
“Talk it out before the encounter begins, by all means. Have a chat after the encounter ends. But why put your blinkers on in the middle of the autobahn?” wrote Gawker’s Caity Weaver.
Another counter: “It may be madly passionate, but it can also sustain intimacy during tough times. Besides, it’s natural to feel turned on after an argument,” Jennifer Berman wrote in Health magazine.
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